Oh You Thought...

Glow Up, Bless Up, Stay Prayed Up, and Hold It Down

Chasing Happiness...

Happiness is an emotion that I feel like it is one of the basic emotions that is not hard to find on a daily basis but is still searched for on the daily for some people. I am a person that has been searching for happiness, true/organic happiness that sometimes feels like forever. I do not know if it is me getting ready to turn another year older next month (36) but everyday I wake up with a sense that something is missing from life, that something is missing on the inside. Yes, I've struggle with depression for years but it is not a depression type of feeling, it is truly the feeling that something is missing in my life.

I am a type of person that I am organized to the "T", so I even try to organize what's going on with me, if that makes sense? I've slacked a lot with my blogging because my brain literally feels like it's in a deep fog and it is overcrowded with thoughts and questions. As being unemployed going on about two months now, I make sure that I am constantly busy applying for jobs that I know will not make me happy but I have to pay bills right? I have this go hard personality and I do not like to lose. I also struggle with OCD thoughts and habits, these thoughts create an environment in me that I don't like not knowing how I'm going to pay all of my bills.

So here I am on a Friday with no plans but just thoughts floating around my head. I challenge myself to try to find that dream career that I know is out there for me but God hasn't given me the road map or light to find my way. I know everything that I do on a daily basis helps in that process but when I say road map or light, I am speaking of a clear answer. Again, people say oh, don't worry about it, things fall into place. Even as a believer, I struggle with the light at the end of the tunnel because I feel like my life has been going in the same semi-lost direction for a while. I feel like my life has been going in this direction because I am truly searching for organic happiness.

No, I don't go around in the world being a negative Nancy. I'm actually the polar opposite, I have such a positive attitude in life. But again, I think I'm starting to see a damaged fighter when I look in the mirror. I say this because I do the right things and keep my head up but again, I wake up with that empty feeling that something is missing. That I am missing out on something but I can't put my finger on it.

I just want so much more for myself before I leave this earth. I want all of the "happiness" that's out there and so everyday as of it feels like this year, I'm searching for that happiness. I am a realest and I know everyday will not be perfect but I am looking to replace that empty feeling that I feel on a daily basis now. I want to be able to bless others that struggle with finding their happiness. I want to see everyone around me just win and be successful. 

So chasing happiness is a real thing for me and I feel myself growing closer to God every day but I am still not perfect and I know I never will be but the urge to be better is in me everyday. If I could just figure out my assignment and career path I know I would start to feel better. Even with everything I have been through in just this year alone, I have not resorted to that dark depressed place I was last December. So with that I know I am a very strong person and I passed the test last December on what God wanted me to learn about my emotions and he was preparing me for I'm going through now because what He has planned for me is bigger than what I could ever imagine. 

I'm also not looking for things or people to fill up the empty feeling for happiness in me. This is a me and a life journey vibe I am on. Yes, I want more positive people in my life but I am not depending on people to get me to feeling whole. When you know that, I think it makes the journey easier and more rewarding. This reward at the end of my journey will be worth everything I've been through. 

This is my first real blog post that I am really letting the world inside of my thoughts and heart because I know I am not the only person searching for true happiness. I never have a problem sharing my walk because I know I am not the only one feeling this way. I always say, the way you feel is valid, your feelings are valid, you are an important being placed on earth for a special purpose. I'm just trying to find my purpose...

Gratitude Journal Day...

What is one thing you love about yourself?

I thought that this journal prompt to tap into self love and self care. It is so important that you take care of yourself and love on yourself. With that being said, the one thing that I truly love about myself is I never quit on myself, on life, on temporary situation. As I have gotten older, this trait has gotten stronger for me. I know some people might still see me as weak but they have no clue what source I am constantly plugging myself into every single day. Some days are to be happy but you have to make an effort to be happy, positive, and open to good things coming back to you. I will never quit on myself or my dreams. Another reminder, it is never too late to start a new dream or go back to an old dream you once had. Start chasing after all of your dreams and doors will open!!

How Does This Statement Make You Feel?

  When I first came across this statement on Tumblr, it triggered a lot of thoughts. Of course when I read this, I 100% agreed with this statement. This statement describes the fight of any female across the world from a young girl to a grown woman. Why is it that women just cannot not be, why is there an implied but to a behavior, an action, or us just being and existing? Those are the thoughts that flowed throughout my mind but as I decided to post this think piece, I pushed my thoughts a bit further and asked couldn't a statement similar to this exist for men? Just as women are expected to be a certain way, act a certain way, men deal with this as well as they exist in this world.    Why are there all of these double standards that go with just being who you are? Why are females that live in their beauty and accept their flaws but love themselves are looked at as being full of themselves? I feel that we live in a society where the world can dictate who you are supposed to be but when you start to live in that society bubble, that same society rejects you with double standards statements like the above.     How can one truly live in their truth when society is ready to knock you down with another hoop for you to jump through? Everyone that is living wears more than one identification "hat". For me, I am a woman, I am African American, I am overweight, I am a college graduate, I am single, I am beautiful, I am a diabetic, etc... We identify with several factors that make us who are and who those identifications comes with all kinds of double standards or stereotypes.     It is easy to say that you should live your life for you but there will always be something you have to conform to even if for just a minute. But on the other hand, you will never know or understand true happiness until you decide to live for you and live your best life.       Walk in your truth and GLOW UP!

When I first came across this statement on Tumblr, it triggered a lot of thoughts. Of course when I read this, I 100% agreed with this statement. This statement describes the fight of any female across the world from a young girl to a grown woman. Why is it that women just cannot not be, why is there an implied but to a behavior, an action, or us just being and existing? Those are the thoughts that flowed throughout my mind but as I decided to post this think piece, I pushed my thoughts a bit further and asked couldn't a statement similar to this exist for men? Just as women are expected to be a certain way, act a certain way, men deal with this as well as they exist in this world.

Why are there all of these double standards that go with just being who you are? Why are females that live in their beauty and accept their flaws but love themselves are looked at as being full of themselves? I feel that we live in a society where the world can dictate who you are supposed to be but when you start to live in that society bubble, that same society rejects you with double standards statements like the above. 

How can one truly live in their truth when society is ready to knock you down with another hoop for you to jump through? Everyone that is living wears more than one identification "hat". For me, I am a woman, I am African American, I am overweight, I am a college graduate, I am single, I am beautiful, I am a diabetic, etc... We identify with several factors that make us who are and who those identifications comes with all kinds of double standards or stereotypes. 

It is easy to say that you should live your life for you but there will always be something you have to conform to even if for just a minute. But on the other hand, you will never know or understand true happiness until you decide to live for you and live your best life.

 

Walk in your truth and GLOW UP!

Mental Health Awareness Daily Jewel

Have you done self inventory today?

Are you doing okay today?

Did you stop doubting yourself today?

Did you build yourself up today?

Did you remember to be thankful today?

Did you remember to spread love and kindness today?

-Don't forget to take care you but also help spread love throughout the world. 

Mental Health Awareness Daily Jewel...

  8 Phrases to stop using when talking about mental health issues per www.goodtherapy.org    1. I'm So OCD- A lot people tend to say that they suffer from OCD but really do not go through the extreme symptoms that real OCD sufferers. I am one that will state that I suffer from OCD but there again I truly understand what it means to suffer from OCD. To have constant thoughts when you want to fix something but you can't or having a ritual and if it's not done completely right, here come the thoughts. Everyone does not have OCD and it can make those that really suffer from OCD feel less than when everyone claims they have OCD.    2. I can't focus it's my ADD- again, another disorder that people will claim that suffer from but there are people that take medication everyday that truly suffer to function throughout a given day.     3.Calling someone a psycho- Psychosis is a serious condition and should be treated as such. A lot of people freely use this term but only about 3% of the population actually suffer from it. Which includes going through episodes of being unaware and dealing with hallucinations.    4.Bipolar- a person that deals with bipolar deals with extreme lows and highs. So saying something as simple as this weather is so bipolar can be highly offensive to someone that deals with it.    5. Saying that you want to kill yourself- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death. This is something that you shouldn't play with when you are just having a bad moment. When something so serious is generalized as a normal statement to make it negates those that really have those feelings, we tend not to take those seriously that really need the help.    6. Stop being so paranoid    7. I'm so addicted    8. That's crazy/insane/nuts-there is stigma attached to having a mental illness and so when you use statements like that it makes people feel less than.    Basically the take away from the 8 phrases above is to watch what you say because words have power . 

8 Phrases to stop using when talking about mental health issues per www.goodtherapy.org

1. I'm So OCD- A lot people tend to say that they suffer from OCD but really do not go through the extreme symptoms that real OCD sufferers. I am one that will state that I suffer from OCD but there again I truly understand what it means to suffer from OCD. To have constant thoughts when you want to fix something but you can't or having a ritual and if it's not done completely right, here come the thoughts. Everyone does not have OCD and it can make those that really suffer from OCD feel less than when everyone claims they have OCD.

2. I can't focus it's my ADD- again, another disorder that people will claim that suffer from but there are people that take medication everyday that truly suffer to function throughout a given day. 

3.Calling someone a psycho- Psychosis is a serious condition and should be treated as such. A lot of people freely use this term but only about 3% of the population actually suffer from it. Which includes going through episodes of being unaware and dealing with hallucinations.

4.Bipolar- a person that deals with bipolar deals with extreme lows and highs. So saying something as simple as this weather is so bipolar can be highly offensive to someone that deals with it.

5. Saying that you want to kill yourself- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death. This is something that you shouldn't play with when you are just having a bad moment. When something so serious is generalized as a normal statement to make it negates those that really have those feelings, we tend not to take those seriously that really need the help.

6. Stop being so paranoid

7. I'm so addicted

8. That's crazy/insane/nuts-there is stigma attached to having a mental illness and so when you use statements like that it makes people feel less than.

Basically the take away from the 8 phrases above is to watch what you say because words have power

The Numbers Are In...

  From Psych2Go on Tumblr...    I definitely believe in this above stat. I am a woman that considers myself to  be reserved but I know I have men beat even on my quietest day. Why has this been the narrative put on women for years, that we love to talk? Why do women talk so much?     Again as a woman, no matter the situation it seems we always have a full case ready to present. From something as simple as asking for something or going completely off when we are mad. I am definitely the type to where I have something that I am passionate about, I can talk all day.    I just wanted to share this stat because I definitely believe it is pretty much spot on as far as the ratio .

From Psych2Go on Tumblr...

I definitely believe in this above stat. I am a woman that considers myself to  be reserved but I know I have men beat even on my quietest day. Why has this been the narrative put on women for years, that we love to talk? Why do women talk so much? 

Again as a woman, no matter the situation it seems we always have a full case ready to present. From something as simple as asking for something or going completely off when we are mad. I am definitely the type to where I have something that I am passionate about, I can talk all day.

I just wanted to share this stat because I definitely believe it is pretty much spot on as far as the ratio.

Get to Know Fallon...

So when I'm feeling free, I'll randomly throw some facts about myself out in a blog for those that take the time to read my posts :-)

Fallon Fact #1: I'm a proud Capricorn and I stay trolling through Tumblr looking at random zodiac facts about myself and people that are close to me and I know their signs. 

I came across this post that stated..."Capricorns hide their own feelings in an effort to avoid conflict". I saw this post and of course I did the classic...."wowwwww" that is so me, how do they know that I am like that reaction??? lol But to be honest, I hate fighting and I hate dealing with sad feelings. I can come across as an emotional person but I really can hold back a lot of my true emotions because I don't want to come off as weak. 

Being weak is something that I never like to be but I have learned that sometimes you have to let your guard down, stop hiding my feelings, because everyone's feelings are valid. Something that I make sure I tell people, maybe in the past couple of years is that your feelings are valid...your feelings are valid. As a Capricorn, sometimes I have to let my feelings be known so I get the respect that is due to me.

 

#FallonFact #GlowUp

Glow Up: Build Up Your Body Confidence in 2017!

Glow Up: Build Your Body Confidence in 2017 and Don’t Lose It!!

Doing my trolling on Tumblr and I came across an article from Psychology 2 Go that provides five psychological methods of building your body confidence. So me being the Psychology lover, holding that BS in Psychology I was curious to see what the article had to offer and see if I was fully a believer.

Link to article here: https://www.psych2go.net/psychological-build-body-confidence/?utm_campaign=SharedPost&utm_medium=Email&utm_source=TumblriOS

1.  Stop obsessing over a size, focus on clothes that fit: I’ve always been guilty of not wanting to roll over into that “plus size” department. I was in that department most of my life and once I lost the weight I never wanted to go back. I think it is 100% important to wear clothes that fit you properly, we all have seen that person that left the house in something too tight or way too big.  No matter your size, look good in whatever you wear.

2. Don’t body shaming yourself!! This is where true will power and positive self talk is a must! We are all guilty of not feeling pretty every day.  The article states that you have to acknowledge that you have a problem. If you are not going to do anything about it, don’t body shame yourself! Say positive compliments about yourself every day to build up your SELF confidence.

3. Put a face to the body bullies you are dealing with: Talk to the people that have made fun of you out loud, to decrease and get rid of those negative thoughts and memories.

4. Follow people that look like you on social media: I am big on following ladies that are of larger size that’s killing it and are so confident. My first thought is that I hope to get there one day, it truly serves as motivation.

5. Wear your faves: Another true point….I have my go to outfits that I know make my body look good and I feel 100% confident.

 

I was looking for a more in depth view on the psychology side regarding building your body confidence. But these are still good tips to get you going. Love who you are, don’t look for approval from anyone else besides yourself!

#GlowUp

Can You Train Your Brain to Block Depression?

Depression is a mental illness that many people suffer from whether they admit it or not. As I was doing my daily social media run on Facebook I came across this article from the Power of Positivity. From the premise alone, I know too many people that would have negative thoughts towards the thought of being able to train your brain to block depression. As a person that suffers from depression from time to time that elects not to treat it with medication, I think this is truly possible because this is how I basically live my life. I make the choice not to use medication because as a person with a Psychology degree, I've studied the chemical makeup of the brain and what the medications do to your brain. I've come across too many studies and people that state that the medications leave them feeling nothing basically or on the flip side when they try to stop taking the medication the depression comes back or there are side effects.

So if there is a why to treat your depression without medication, why not tap into it? This is another reason why I started my podcast and the blog. I wanted to spread my positive vibes and thoughts to as many people as I possibly could. 

So the premise of the article connects depressed thoughts with memories from out past that we do not know how to properly moved past. Which makes a lot of sense if you ask me. Anytime I go through a depressed period it is due to a memory that I am still dwelling on and I truly do not know how to forget the pain and move past it. 

One major point they made was stop trying to be the best. Trying to be the best and comparing yourself to others are easy triggers that can lead to the start of a depressed episode. Do things that constantly make you happy and focus on being in your own lane. When you switch your focus to happiness and running your own race the need to be perfect and the best will ease the thoughts of self doubt. 

Keep negative thoughts out of your head! I also say for every negative thought you have, pump into your head 3 positive thoughts. If you keep being positive during the hard times and through negative thinking you will begin to feel better and return to that happy place. 

When you feel like things will never get better, try to remember that things will always get better. You just have to help in the process, do not stay in the state of depression. Never let the depression win, make it your goal to lessen the length of your depressed periods. Train your brain to reject negativity and to embrace positive vibes.

Glow Up!

 When you learn to live by that wonderful gem a lot of disappointments will be easier to cope with. When you understand the importance of YOU and that YOU matter you won’t allow certain things to happen to you.  It is definitely easier said than done but not impossible to do. No matter how good a situation is, never lose yourself in the good feelings and forget about who you are and what you stand for. Of course be present and live in the moment but make sure you keep your self worth together.  In dealing with relationships, the person you are with should see that you matter and it’s not just about them. A good relationship doesn’t feel like work and is a team effort. With the theme of being yours before anyone else’s….make sure you know how to be alone.  The art of being alone AND happy can be a tough pill to swallow. When getting over the man I thought was my true love (hindsight is 20/20 right?), I told myself no jumping to another relationship and no going back to any man I was already familiar with. I decided to be fully alone, allow myself time to really get over him for good, work on myself, and find happiness within me. This took me about a year and half to do.  When you are committed to that process I promise you will not feel lonely. You have your moments, yes but you now know how to cope and it will be just fine. Even with me going through the no dating time period there were still men that crossed my path that were merely tests that I passed. I did not date until I was completely over my ex and I was happy being alone.  What happened once I finally started dating again is another story, for another day. ✌

When you learn to live by that wonderful gem a lot of disappointments will be easier to cope with. When you understand the importance of YOU and that YOU matter you won’t allow certain things to happen to you.

It is definitely easier said than done but not impossible to do. No matter how good a situation is, never lose yourself in the good feelings and forget about who you are and what you stand for. Of course be present and live in the moment but make sure you keep your self worth together.

In dealing with relationships, the person you are with should see that you matter and it’s not just about them. A good relationship doesn’t feel like work and is a team effort. With the theme of being yours before anyone else’s….make sure you know how to be alone.

The art of being alone AND happy can be a tough pill to swallow. When getting over the man I thought was my true love (hindsight is 20/20 right?), I told myself no jumping to another relationship and no going back to any man I was already familiar with. I decided to be fully alone, allow myself time to really get over him for good, work on myself, and find happiness within me. This took me about a year and half to do.

When you are committed to that process I promise you will not feel lonely. You have your moments, yes but you now know how to cope and it will be just fine. Even with me going through the no dating time period there were still men that crossed my path that were merely tests that I passed. I did not date until I was completely over my ex and I was happy being alone.

What happened once I finally started dating again is another story, for another day. ✌

Breaking Point...

When Is Enough, Enough?!?

What is your breaking point? How much do you take before hitting your breaking point? Why do we allow ourselves to experience pain or disappointment thinking that you won’t get to your enough point?

This question crossed my mind when reading about the TI and Tiny divorce the last few days. But this is also a general question, not just in regards to romantic relationships. But I will give my thoughts on the romantic relationship side first.

I think if you are putting up with certain unhealthy emotional behaviors you must look in the mirror and review what you are lacking to put up with the behavior. Speaking from my own experiences I know that when you put up with wrong behaviors it’s because something is broken with you. I never believe that someone is totally innocent in a situation. You must own your shit and fix it. Or don’t fix it and constantly be unhappy and picking the same type of partners. So when you are figuring out why you are at your Enough point, make sure you figure out your stuff.

Staying for the kids- nice to try, it’s the responsible thing to do but not truly healthy. I do not have children but my parents got a divorce at a young age. I promise you that your kids always know that something is not right. Be happy and sane for your kids.

Keeping up appearances- another bad decision. Happiness is so important and why stay in a situation because you are worried about other people that don’t even live in your mess?

Enough is enough is every day life- live your life wanting to be happy and avoid unnecessary stress that triggers you to compress your true feelings and allows for the Enough is enough environment to grow. Your faith and beliefs should be your center to reach happiness and you should thrive to be your best self every day.

Try to stay away from building up the enough is enough feelings and stress. Choose to be happy and deal with people/situations that cater to those feelings.

Songs That Make Me Happy...

1. There will never be- Switch
2. I would die 4 u-Prince
3. Adore-Prince
4. Love and happiness- Al Green
5. Blow the Whistle- Too Short
6. Dollar and a Dream II- J Cole
7. PSA- Jay Z
8. Pony- Ginuwine
9. Happy Feeling- Frankie Beverly and Maze
10. Lit- Bas
11. Spread my wings- Troop
12. Like a Boss- Slim Thug
13. Flipside- Freeway
14. Outstanding- the Gap Band
15. Mary Jane-Rock James

A Few Things I Learned in 2016....

1. Only person you can truly trust is the good Lord
2. That I can make it through a lot
3. A lot of good people passed away this year…again taught me how to deal with life
4. It’s ok to say no
5. Everything that is meant to be will be and we can’t change it
6. You can’t trust what the polls say concerning politics (major read) but again, I knew that polls can’t be trusted because who are they really polling and does it really represent the masses?
7. I am creative
8. I have new goals and they will happen
9. The number of friends does not matter, the quality of the ones you have matters
10. I’m stronger than what I give myself credit for even with dealing with my current issues
11. I remembered how strong and wonderful my mom is and how I consider her to be my best friend. 
12. Love is nice to want BUT as my daddy used to say “it don’t hurt to want” soooo just because you want it don’t mean it’s meant for you
13. Have more fun, life is short